We've all been there, standing in front of the mirror and can't get the ugly mean things out of our heads. Its not anything someone has said to you, it's your words, not someone else's. You feel the bits of self esteem you hoarded slipping threw your fingers...then it's gone. Whether you are ready for a change yourself or you have little eyes and ears watching and hearing you and don't want them to have the same feelings...You realize it's time for a change.
Self-esteem refers to the positive or negative feelings we have about ourselves. It is at the root of many challenges we face. We need to believe we are good and worthy, which leads to a high self-esteem. If we think we are less worthy or inadequate, it creates low self-esteem. To build a high self-esteem we need to let go of judgements, tap into self-kindness, love, accept, and hold open and warm feelings toward ourselves. There is a need for us to recognize that external factors do no accurately measure self-worth. External criteria, such as; achievements, career, social status, relationships, and appearances, do not judge our worth. Things like thoughts, circumstances, emotions, desires, and body image are dynamic in that they fluctuate and change over time. Self-worth is not based on job title, bank account, or what size dress you wear. We should be looking inward to develop our self-worth, from within. Only you have the power to accept and love yourself as you are. Don’t judge yourself by your flaws, accept them as a part of who you are. Pay attention to your level of acceptance for one day. When you feel yourself judging, ask yourself why. Then think of words you would say to your best friend during these times. What would you say to them? Now apply that to yourself. When you are accepting of yourself, live in that moment. You deserve it.
There are many ways you can improve your self-esteem. In my late teens I chose the “fake it until I make” approach. Showing that you are confident on the outside will actually make you feel more confident on the inside. I challenge you to stand tall and smile. Did that generate more feelings of confidence and increase your self-esteem? Now use that attitude as a way to conquer every day. Some choose to use daily affirmations to generate positive thoughts about themselves. Try writing some on your mirror. Each morning spend a few minutes repeating those to yourself. This can be used to encourage and uplift you and is a great way to start and end your day. Often the way you feel on the outside is reflective of the way you feel on the inside. Taking great care of yourself will build up your confidence and create a happier mind.
So going forward, openly embrace a feeling of self-love (the PG kind here). Love yourself because you understand yourself. Love yourself as the most committed partner you will ever have. Show yourself love any way that your can, and when you screw up, remember to be sweet and gentle with yourself. If not, make yourself sleep on the couch. Got that?